Tag Game.

oh noooooooooo

i got tagged by vinaigrette

    Rule 1 - Post the rules.
    Rule 2 - Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then make 11 new ones.
    Rule 3 - Tag 11 people and link them to your post.
    Rule 4 - Let them know you’ve tagged them.

1) Name someone who’s ruining your life right now.

nothing against the professor who teaches my studies in narrative: naturalism and realism course but holy hell i don’t want to finish that paper, i just want to be done hhhhh.  thank god she made us do rough drafts or i wouldn’t have even touched the thing and it’s due friday morning, 12-15 pages. i only need this class for my concentration and i am having such a hard time caring and it is basically the worst.

2) What word/words do you commonly misspell?

privilege (i always spell it as privelege)

desperate (i usually spell it desparate the first time around)

recommendation (reccomendation, ugh, why???? that doesn’t even make sense)

uh, oh jeez, i know there are a lot of others that i habitually misspell but mostly i fuck up the suffixes of things???

3) Write your favourite stanza from your favourite poem.

oh gosh, i know you did not mean to literally write, but i could not resist!!!!  my favorite is going to have to be either:

from richard siken’s little beast because that one always hits me like a punch to the gut or

from richard siken’s wishbone, which is also the same poem that i take the title of my blog from

4) If you could switch faces with anyone, who would it be?
i am 100% okay with my face even though i do not think it is attractive in the least but if i had to switch faces, it would hands down be sylvester ulv. those cheekbones, christ, how is he even allowed to be a thing?????????

5) Tell me how you feel about cats in exactly 120 words.

cats, oh my god, you guys are little bastards.  it is completely and entirely unfair that you should be allowed to be endearing while licking your own genitalia, destroying furniture, sleeping all day, killing small animals, and stealing food.  if i did these things, it would be reprehensible at best.  at best.  and several of those things are things i would definitely do if i could get away with them!!  by all rights i should hate you, but no, it’s that endearing thing at work again. gosh, you are so cute, i just can’t hold it against you.  now, who’s a pretty kitty, you are, oh gosh, yes you are!!  you are the prettiest kitty!! prettiest kitty to ever kit!!

6) What’s the most disturbing thing you’ve read on the internet?

oh jeez, i can’t think of anything specific right now but i used to spend a whole lot of time on the *chans so you bet your sweet bippy i’ve read some disturbing things on the internet, fictional, purporting to be real, and definitely real. 

7) Would you cut my steak for me? Because I am having trouble doing so right now. :c

i would for sure cut your steak!!! i would cut that steak like it’s never been cut before!!!

8) Who is your fashion inspiration?
i am only now realizing that the pictures of me that are on tumblr really are not at all exemplary of how i actually dress when i am going out and stuff!!  :’c

i’ve recently been really into the idea of gender as performance/performative gender and finding that really kind of empowering, so i think in that i’ve been inspired a lot by majestic although i would say it definitely say that it does not manifest for me quite the same way it does for them!!  although their style is incredible!!!

i take a lot of cues (cues herein meaning bastardize) from j.c. leyendecker’s art when i want to feel sharp and also james dean, except more like if james dean was actually a little snotface punkass with a napoleon complex and a skateboard and a love for weird jewelry and religious iconography?????????????  and i guess sometimes when i am really feeling down on myself and i need to just power through it i sort of invent a character in my head to dress as?????  which sounds so fucking weird but it helps!! especially if i have to be in front of people!

also sometimes i try to be brian molko, mostly unsuccessfully.

9) Which movie has the best soundtrack?
romeo + juliet.  although koyaanisqatsi (and anything else philip glass has worked on - see also: the illusionist) is super lovely

10) What joke always makes you laugh?
any really godawful puns, particularly if they’re unintentional.

11) I’m sleepy. Tell me a story.

You told me that you were bored, that I couldn’t possibly imagine how bored you were, you needed something to thrill you.  You wanted to be scared.  You laughed at all my movies, the ones that kept me up at night, but when I pulled the dusty box with the Ouija board out from under my bed, your eyes lit up.  Don’t think I didn’t catch it, even though you scoffed in the same heartbeat, drew frowny faces and dicks and anarchy symbols in the dust on the lid with your fingertips. 

In my head, I was thinking about what I could make it say on my turn to really freak you out.  It’d have to be cryptic, disjointed.  Not too cliché but just cliché enough to strike a familiar chord, to get you wondering if maybe there is a bit of truth behind those stories and sayings that get cycled around, passed from hand to hand and mouth to mouth until there’s hardly any meaning left in them.  After all, why else would they stick around so long?  And what could be more perfect to add to this already perfectly fucking cliché scene, clumsy hands and clumsy pretenses for me to sleep near you and feelings that are clumsier yet. How direct-to-TV low-budget coming-of-age movie can you get? Maybe I thought if I could make you feel something, feel anything, that would be a good enough substitute.

The board smelled like mothballs when I took it out, maybe just a little damp, and I wondered if that was disrespectful, to just stash something like this under my bed with my sweaters. Then I realized that I was taking my own game too seriously, felt a little stupid. More than a little.  Shook it off.  But I couldn’t help feeling like there was something in the air, stirring slow and sluggish, like something vast waking up and rolling over.  I’ve always been good at scaring myself.

My fingers were on the planchette and my eyes were closed and I could hear you snort out a laugh, practically feel the force of you rolling your eyes, but my hand was moving, and I peeked through my lashes and it wasn’t spelling out “ITS SO COLD HERE” like I had planned.  I almost pulled my hand away, I gasped, you laughed even harder but I think you must have felt it too, that stirring, something waking and rising slowly, because you faltered for a moment, forced another laugh, but you were watching now.

“OH PLEASE,” it said, I waited trembling for my hand to move again.  There were echoes in the music on the radio.

“DONT TELL ME THAT YOURE BORED

ITS SO LONELY HERE

NO ONE EVER TALKS TO ME

I CANT SLEEP AND I CANT WAKE UP

IM ALWAYS HALFWAY INBETWEEN

WONT YOU TELL ME A STORY

HELP ME PASS THE TIME

IVE GOT FAR MORE OF IT THAN I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH”

And then you realized that you’d spent so much time scoffing at everything that came your way, mocking every circumstance that had the poor judgement to befall you, without ever once letting anything be more than just fuel for another sharp quip, without ever once letting anything tumble in through the cracks and grow, like dandelions pushing up through pavement, that you didn’t have a single story to tell.  And I realized that I never was quite sure of what I saw in you to begin with.  So I told all my stories.

okay!!!!!!!!!!! my questions:

1) What would you bring along to an ideal picnic?

2) Write either an epitaph or a eulogy for yourself.

3) What is the top-played song on your media player and, if you know this, how many plays does it have?

4) What is the last book you read because you wanted to read it and what did you think of it?

5) Tell me about something or someone from your childhood that you think has really influenced who you are today.

6) Are there any words that you think are particularly beautiful?  What are they and, if you’d like to, tell a little about why. Or better yet, write something under 100 words using that word!

7) What makes you happy when you are upset?

8) Who do you look up to?  This can be someone that you look up to artistically, or as a person, or whatever!! They can be real people or fictional people.  Or not-people!  Whatever floats your boat!

9) What do you do to entertain yourself when you are waiting for something or someone and you don’t have anything with you?

10) You are leaving where you live immediately and you have only a medium-sized cardboard box to pack your personal effects into.  You do not know when you would be able to next have access to the rest of your possessions.  What would you put into the box?

11) Tell a secret, but be as vague as you possibly can about it!

okay yes good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!